South Korea has a lot of rules, some of them better than others. In a Confucian society, rules and an obsequious obedience to them are in what keeps crime rates low and the trains running on time. But many Korean rules are birthed into this world by campus security officers, dormitory managers, company admin or other conscientious administrators seeking to demonstrate their diligence to their superiors. A case in point, my university implemented a no-kickboard (electronic scooter) rule. The reason: somebody had fallen off their kickboard on campus, and – rather conveniently enough – it was captured on camera. Banners of the accident were plastered around campus by some fastidious branch of the university’s bureaucracy, only for kickboards to become omnipresent again on the campus 6 months later, due to the overwhelming demand. Some of the rules, however, are inclined to stick around a little longer. Let’s look at five stupid rules that are alive and well today.
5. No Smoking Outdoors… unless in a designated smoker’s zone. So, if you’re a smoker, you can see the open sky above as you inhale smoke into your lungs, but you’re likely also imbibing the smoke of a half dozen other smokers standing right next to you in an open-air cattle pen, or a fetid ash-stinking metallic box, which in all fairness, look pretty cool from the outside. Honestly, being a smoker in Korea is a hard life. Having to descend Seoul’s high-rise apartments and businesses to rush out for a 5-minute smoking break, only to rush back from the huddled masses and their plumes of acrid smoke a few moments later. The difficulty of finding a place to smoke has given rise to another problem: the smoking smell in Korean apartments. People tend to smoke in their houses, and residents nearby then have to report this to the building security, often to little effect, causing a smoke-smell induced perma-migraine among some city residents.
4. No Dogs in Public Parks. South Korea and dogs have a complicated relationship. Dogs, especially Instagrammable Pomeranians, are adored by social media-savvy Koreans up and down the country. But dogs are still regularly eaten in specialist dog meat restaurants, especially by the older population. This practice stems from the ancient Chinese belief that dog meat has special medicinal properties, like being able to keep you strong and healthy during the summertime. What’s more, businesses and homeowners in the countryside tend to keep white Jindo dogs outside their property of business for good luck, often in poor or derelict dog houses. And judging by the measly rate of Korean vegetarians, animal welfare isn’t a concern to most of the Korean populace. Korea, having a very low number of public parks compared to other countries, therefore tries to keep its parks for people only, meaning that dog owners will have to find a quiet footpath or the occasional spot along the Han River to let man’s best friend answer the call of nature.
3. No Kids Zones. Many in South Korea are in favour of ‘no kids zones,’ 71 % in fact according to a December 2021 report by Hankook Research. And currently, over 400 businesses are listed as such on Google Maps with there likely to be thousands in reality. And this doesn’t just apply to kids, there are also ‘no professor zones,’ ‘no old people zones,’ ‘no middle-aged people zones,’ and my personal favourite ‘no couples zones’. As an approaching middle-aged professor who is currently in a relationship, soon half of the country may refuse to accept my hard-earned Korean won bills. These rules have been justified on the bases of unruly, boastful behaviour in student bars (professors), a disrespectful attitude towards female staff (old and middle-aged men) and just being too coupley and annoying, I would assume (couples). And these rules are able to be enforced because Korea has no anti-discrimination laws. Such punitive laws on the country’s parents are unlikely to encourage the reproductive population to start procreating, with Korea due to be officially recognised as a hyper-aged society by 2040.
2. No Foreigners Allowed. In Korea, you might hear the word for foreigner (“waegukin”) often due to the natural distinction many Koreans make between kin and non-kin. So, as a non-Korean looking person in Korea, you'll come across it all the time, despite having lived in Korea half your life and being fluent in the language and culture. Bars and clubs often display ‘no foreigners’ signs in the window, especially if there are many foreigners with poor reputations among the locals, such as the American military, which has 40, 000 soldiers currently stationed on the peninsula. I have personally been turned away from a Daegu nightclub, turned down on a property and stopped from giving blood due to my waegukin status. So, whether you like it or not, the Korean/foreigner divide is alive in the minds and hearts of most Koreans, and although it does very often produce some benefits like extra special treatment assistance when ordering food, for example, it is discriminatory.
1. The 50/10 Swimming Pool Rule. As regular swimming, this is a rule that has traumatised me the most. Although not as consequential as some of the other rules, it’s certainly one of the most frivolous. Picture this: you’re enjoying a lovely, relaxing swim in an indoor swimming pool. Your mind is light, your stroke is strong and carries you aerodynamically through the soft, rippling waves of the local pool, your arms and legs in perfect synchrony as the water rushes past your face, and you relax into a state of unadulterated flow. Then a shrill whistle sounds, echoing gratingly around the walls of the pool, presaging a mass exodus of swimmers. The lifeguard then starts talking to you in short, sharp staccato bursts. He isn’t happy. In confusion, you pull yourself out of the pool and go home. You later find out that the reason for the palaver was that the clock just struck 50 minutes past the hour, a time of enforced rest. Why? I hear you ask. Because you might drown. Yes, that’s right. The powers-that-be in Korea, in their infinite wisdom, decided that without such a rule, swimmers would swim, swim and swim some more and then collapse from exhaustion, dragged down to the 1.6m murky depths.
So, despite a country of many wonders and charms, don't be surprised to find more than your fair share of quirky, unconventional or downright irritating rules, laws and by-laws on your next trip to the Land of the Morning Calm.
